By Seth Czerepak
Knowing how to be assertive has a lot of benefits, from being able to ask for things you want to keeping people from walking on you. The more assertive and confident you are the more valuable and attractive you appear to others. In this article, you'll learn how to be assertive without being rude and how to increase your confidence when interacting with people.
Being Assertive vs Being Rude
Knowing how to be assertive without being rude starts with understanding the difference between the two. The difference is that rude people are motivated by the need to validate themselves to others. Assertive people have no need to seek validation or approval from others...and that's the thing which empowers them the most when it comes to being assertive.
Assertive people are motivated by the desire to fulfill an objective or to be clear in their communication with others. However, the need for validation gets in the way of being assertive because it communicates a need to gain something from the other person. The more you need the approval of other people, the less leverage you'll have to be assertive.
So knowing how to be assertive starts with a shift in your thinking, from the approval seeking mindset to the mindset which is focused on clear communication and on achieving your objective...
Knowing How to Be Assertive: Decisiveness is the Key
Assertiveness and confidence comes from certainty of purpose. The more clear picture you have of what you want out of your life and your relationships, the easier it will be for you to be assertive. On the other hand, passiveness is born out of indecisiveness and lack of clarity about what you want. So if you want to learn how to be assertive, start by:
1. Realizing when you're seeking validation from others.
2. Being honest with yourself about what YOU want BEFORE you interact with someone else.
As you become more aware of these two things, you'll find it easier and easier to be assertive in your words and your behaviors. You'll discover that people have a way of making room for those who know what they want and who have no need of approval from others. Become one of these people and you'll have no problem training yourself in how to be assertive.
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